All posts by Sophia Legend

Reflections of 2013

circle pixWhat a year 2013 has been. As I reflect back it seems impossible to have had so many different experiences in a twelve month period. I traveled to Las Vegas, Austin, Maui, Florida and Atlanta. I moved physically from Novato to Sebastopol, California to Santa Rosa, California. I stayed for periods of time in Novato, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, San Francisco and Florida. I visited friends, went to workshops, birthday parties, hospitals, funerals, and celebrated holidays with people that I love..

The year 2013 has helped me develop a deeper gratitude and love for life. I have experienced loss, change, growth and new beginnings. During this year, I have grown to appreciate the loved ones in my live, not to take anything for granted and to live fully in the present moment. My connection with my Divine has become stronger and my willingness to listen to the small voice within. My heart is full,

During 2013, I began to focus on creating my work in the world again. As I completed the trainings with Cafe Gratitude, I began to feel a stirring in my body and soul to be facilitating groups and leading workshops. This started to take form in the later months of the year. I felt a little unsure of my direction and focus and yet I followed my inspired actions to move myself forward and into a more public domain.

As I introduced my workshops, I discovered my passion rising for facilitating groups and seeing people opening to each other and sharing authentically their feelings and thoughts, their vulnerabilities and their dreams.

I see new possibilities in 2014…….I am opening again and again to being of service to the awakening of humanity on Planet Earth.  I willingly say yes to God and to serve without hesitation. I am an instrument of the Divine will in my life. I am blessed! Praise God.

 

 

 

 

The Dying Process

2013-05-04 12.14.10Being with Adrianna in her dying process was truly a profound gift. Everyday as I went to the hospital, I was greeted with a dedicated loving staff of nurses who helped me understand the current situation that Adrianna was experiencing. She had been receiving blood transfusions and they seemed to give her more energy. She had some very good days where she was super conscious and aware of everything that was happening around her.

On her good days, she would ask for her computer to write the book she dreamed of writing or with friends redecorate the hospital room with beautiful flowers and pictures that had a spiritual meaning to her.

Her room was a busy place with friends coming daily to kiss her, to tell her how much she meant to them, sharing funny stories of times together and tearful goodbyes.
As the disease progressed and her pain worsened, the doctors felt that the transfusions would be of little use. The nurses told me that she would have more difficult days ahead as she moved closer to her death.

Adrianna had a beautiful way of greeting me with a smile even when she had pain. Her pain was intense at times and she showed amazing bravery as she graciously told the nurses her pain level and as they administered heavier doses for relief. I don’t think she was ever totally free of pain however she dealt with it with great courage.

When I had been there for 3 weeks, I was feeling it as time to go home and made a plane reservation on April 27th. The morning I was going to tell her I was leaving, I received a call from her from her hospital bed. They had moved her from one room to another to be closer to the nurses station.

Her phone call was surprising to me as she had not been using the phone very much. Her voice was clear and strong, she told me that she was taken to a place that was so beautiful, she described seeing beautiful colors and she told me she was in a beautiful healing place and that they were going to help her be healed. Then she said, please don’t go home yet, I need you a little longer. I hadn’t told her of my plans. I said I would get dressed and come quickly to the hospital. When I arrived I got into bed with her and she again communicated to me how she was transported to a new healing environment where she felt safe and comforted and she knew she would go through a healing process and it was all good.

I immediately cancelled my flight and rebooked it for Tuesday, May 7, exactly one month of my arrival on April 7th.

The days that followed, Adrianna wanted only her closest people to be with her and she wanted to be held, massaged, spoken to softly and very little noise or activity.
On Saturday, May 4th, I packed a few things and took it with me to the hospital. My intention was to spend the night with her.

That day I knew her death was near. I was at the hospital with a few very close friends and we held her and prayed with her. When it was time to leave I told the nurse, I wanted to spend the night. He told me that she was weeks away from dying and it was best to go home and get a good nights rest and come to the hospital the next day. He reassured me she would be alright. I wanted to believe he was right but I knew it my heart he was wrong. I left the hospital with a friend and stayed at her house that night.

Early the next morning, we received a call from her friend, telling us that Adrianna had passed away peacefully in her sleep.

We rushed to the hospital where her closest friends gathered to sit in prayer and silence.

Adrianna died on May 5th. Her burial was on May7th at 10am. I flew home that afternoon. The timing was a miracle that I was there to say my final goodbye to her physical being and support her in making her transition into eternal life.

What a priviledge and honor to be with her at this most important time in her life. She gave me many gifts on our journey together and being with her in her final days was the most precious of all.

Adrianna is in my heart, her love fills me and she sends me little messages when she is with me in spirit. We are traveling together still, me in the physical world and she in the nonphysical. Our love grows in spirit and in our Divine connection.

Saying Goodbye

2011-07-15 21.06.46On April 5, I flew to Maui. My dearest closest beloved friend, Adrianna was diagnosed with acute leukemia. I got on a plane not knowing where I would stay or how long I was going to be there.  I packed a small overnight bag expecting to be there a few days.

Those few days turned out to be a month, almost to the day. When I arrived in Maui that afternoon, a friend Kitty picked me up. She was my guardian angel. We drove to the hospital and I was so glad to be with her. When we entered Adrianna’s room there were several people there, talking and sharing Adrianna’s stories. As she lay in the bed, Adrianna looked beautiful, radiant and happy.  As our eyes met, she gave me that amazing smile, we hugged and she told me how happy she was that I had come.

Kitty, my guardian angel knew that I hadn’t yet figured out where I would stay and she pulled me aside and told me to ask the visitors if they knew of a place I could stay for a few days. There was a young woman there, Tracey with her 2 year old son, Taveran, who Adrianna was going to live with and do some babysitting for a reduction of her rent. Kitty encouraged me to ask if I might stay there for a couple of days. Kitty lived very close by and could drive me to the hospital. Tracey agreed and the few days turned into weeks and I grew to love Tracey and Tav very deeply.

I went to the hospital everyday. Her sister Meryl and I were there from morning to night. Visitors came and I would leave and go downstairs to the chapel, or to the cafeteria or walk the beautiful labrynith that was in the outside garden.

Being with Adrianna for me had a beautiful magical quality. Over the past year, we spent a lot of wonderful time together. I went to Maui last March and we spent 3 glorious weeks together.  She loved Maui and we went to the beach almost everyday. She loved the ocean. She loved swimming in the waves and it was there that she felt so much peace and joy. We even shared an amazing retreat together at the BELOVE Farm. It was 5 days of healing, laughter, community, love and joy!!

When Adrianna would come to Northern California, we would get together.  She stayed with me in or I would stay with her at the Satori Winery. She was my souls sister, my soul mate, my spirit guide, my beloved friend. We recognized each other and we loved each other.

There was no other place I wanted to be but in the hospital with her. Her presence gave me peace and love. Her smile would light up the room. Her beauty shined through…she was truly a Goddess of beauty, light and love.

To be continued……………………………………………..

 

 

 

 

Love and Acceptance

HeartSomeone once said that listening is the greatest gift of love you can give someone…….Listening  truly to another requires an open receptive heart. Quieting the inner chatter of the mind so what is being said can be received as a communication from another.

I have not had an easy time learning to listen. My mind was and sometimes now is looking to find a response to make the person feel better. I thought that was my job in life to help people feel better. Not that it isn’t a noble job however I have learned that being an empathetic listener is allowing a deeper connection to take place and a deeper healing to occur.

Recently I had an opportunity to experience this in a dramatic way.  My ex husband was hospitalized for several days and then transferred to a rehabilitation hospital to continue his recovery. My daughters and myself were frightened and helpless as we observed the complex medical procedures that were being administered.

Yet, as I tuned into my higher self, I could hear as I listened carefully to the small quiet voice within that was guiding me and strengthening me. I was able to speak to the nurses and the doctors in a voice that was new and unfamiliar. It was powerful and wise and yet compassionate and loving. Noone was more surprised than me for the way I was speaking and listening.

There were times when stress bubbled over and I remained calm, listening to the concerns and fear. I was able to hold the space of love without thinking I had to fix it and even make it better.

Accepting what is and being the space of love unconditionally, not resisting what is happening and being fully present to the moment, is a spiritual practice. I am learning that life brings gifts of awakening in many forms and the purpose of these situations is awakening in me a closer connection to the Divine. I know that my Divine Beloved is always with me in every situation from the most mundane to the most extraordinary and I am so grateful for this awareness and acceptance of what is and holding a space for unconditional love.

 

 

 

 

Love is all there is

Passionate heartHow do I begin this love story?………..I guess I will tell it from the beginning.

Fifteen months ago, while taking a walk at sunset in the park I met a man who became the deepest love of my life. For three months we met and walked together…holding hands and listening to each other’s story. He told me about living in Colombia as a young boy and the cartels, drugs, murders and how he managed to escape that world and come to the United States.

At first and many times during those first 3 months, I resisted the feelings that were growing inside of me. I told myself he’s too young, and he’s from a world that I know nothing about.

Although our relationship would seem crazy to the outside world, our souls recognized each other. Our love and attraction intensified over time and I began to accept this gift of Love that God was giving to me.,

As the relationship grew more passionate and more intimate, I felt my heart open to a great healing of accepting and allowing love to fill my very being.

I learned to be with him in the moment without any promise of a future. Each meeting was totally fulfilling in the moment. It was our sacred time together without any conditions.

Expectations fell away easily and unconditional love blossomed. In the past some of his actions would have brought up anger and hurt. I can’t say that those feelings didn’t arise however what was more present was a total acceptance of who he is and an excitement to discover more of who he is.

I knew from the beginning of our relationship that we were brought together to learn from each other and there would be a time where we would say goodbye. That time came on February 18. In December, I received strong guidance that it was time for me to begin the letting go process. I accepted this and although it was tough to do, I felt in my heart this was right. He called me many times however we didn’t see each other. Then in February, I received a text from him telling me that he is moving back to Columbia and could he see me to say goodbye. Many feelings flooded through my awareness and at first I told him yes and then texted him back and said it would be too hard for me to see him and I wish him love and happiness. In the next moment, I texted him and said yes, I would see him.

We met and it felt much like it did in the very beginning. It was sweet, tender, loving and passionate. We spoke of the love we feel for each other and how grateful we are for knowing each other and sharing our lives together. When we said Goodbye it was like every other time we said goodbye, no promises, no expectations and total acceptance for what is.

He has taught me so much and now he is teaching me every day about loss and death. I cannot see him or feel him and I know he is here with me in my heart. My heart is filled with his love. I now have experienced with a deeper awareness that Love is all there is and when we love that person is in our hearts forever. I have a piece of him with me as I continue my journey into greater Love and Acceptance of what is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Endings and New Beginnings

61661_388389757928492_1636556263_nWhat an amazing year 2012 was! I lived in community, I lived in the forest, I traveled to Hawaii and Austin and Los Angeles. Completed the Leadership Program with Matthew and Terces of Cafe Gratitude, fell madly in love, made new friends, moved in with my daughter and grandkids, facilitated a workshop, and learned alot about myself. I even changed my name. It’s not legal yet, however my new name is Sophia Legend. That name came to me from Spirit and I happily accepted it.
2012 was a great year for my growth and spirituality.
2013 is taking off in a grand way………Many completions and endings and  a new beginning.
For several months, I have prayed and waited patiently to receive guidance on my work and my next steps. During a retreat called Resting and Revisioning at a Meditation Center near where I live, the vision of this next stage of my work revealed itself to me. I must say I felt honored, excited and scared. That happened at the end of December.

Also at the end of December, my love relationship ended. I have allowed myself to hold the love I feel for this man and at the same time knowing it was time to let go.  I experienced a deep sense of aloneness and powerful moments of wanting to be with him. It was difficult not to contact him but spirit encouraged me to let go.  As I felt the letting go happen, the intensity of the feelings began to lessen and I awoke to  feeling  inspired and motivated to begin my mission.

The clarity of my vision has given me the insight to begin the work I have so patiently been waiting for………I will begin facilitating my new workshops and continue assisting at the Cafe Gratitude events.  I am beginning to develop my new website for my work with individuals and another for my work with businesses who are aligned to a higher purpose.

I will be writing a book for children and teens with the principles for love, peace and harmony.

This is just the beginning………….the road ahead may not be easy as we work for change and transformation yet it is for me the way I choose to live my life………Making a Difference!

LISTENING TO SPIRIT

peaceglow (2)I have been living in Fairfax for only a few weeks and each day I seem to love it more.
When I arrived at my new home that I am subleasing for 3 months, I was extremely disappointed that the house had not been cleaned up to my standards. I began to doubt my choice and questioned my intuition. I asked myself, What was I thinking and why did I choose to move here? As I was questioning, I heard a small voice inside my head that said, Clean it with Love and Compassion and know that you are doing service. At first I was not happy as I started to clean each room. But soon I began to experience it as a cleansing and a purification and I could feel a deep shifting of the energy. As I purified the house with incense and sage, the house slowly began to respond and I could feel a sense of appreciation as if these rooms were communicating with me and letting me know that there was a consciousness here and was changing. There has been a transformation into light, love, caring and appreciation.

I also inherited 2 cats when I agreed to move in. They are both very different male cats. Lovebug is a free spirit and has a definite mind of his own. He spends his time out and about on the property and I rarely see him. At first this bothered me as I had an agenda for him and expected him to come to the door a few times a day to check in and eat. Not at all what he had in mind so I let go and released my needs to recognize his need for freedom and for being true to his nature. On the other hand, Lion has a different nature and has become more of an indoor cat with brief adventures out. However he had a difficult time at first and cried alot. I talked to him and petted him and showed him that I would take good care of him and that I would be loving and kind to him.

We are now all three of us living in harmony. They get to be who they are and I also get to make my boundaries clear to them. We have created respect for one another and our needs are being met. We have a happy home!!!

I now know that this was the perfect place for me to live. My home is my sacred sanctuary. There is a deep sense of peace here and a stillness that allows me to deepen my spiritual practice. I am following my bliss by allowing my life to unfold naturally as I listen to spirit and to the whispers of my heart.

Traveling The Spirit Road

2011-08-02 00.46.42I am learning to follow spirit and my intuition as I move through this next phase of my journey. Listening deeply to my inner voice and guides has brought me to a new adventure of life. I have lived in many places since June all temporary in nature. I have lived with friends in Los Angeles, my daughter in Austin, a winery in Gilroy and a few hotels and my former husbands home in Larkspur. I have traveled this spirit road with ease and grace and each move has lightened my load. Each move flowed into the next and I observed myself getting stronger physically, emotionally and spiritually. My trust in myself and in the universe strengthened as well and I began to have a knowing that the universe is supporting me and guiding me. My awareness opened to experience that I am cocreating my life with the universe and that the universe knows what I desire and is fulfilling those desires and leading me on my path step by step.

In early September I will be moving to a small cottage in Fairfax. The community of Fairfax is all about health, wellness and self expression. I will be able to walk to town and to my favorite health food store, Good Earth is practically across the street. I will have my own place, subletting it for 3 months from a Spirit Rock meditation teacher, and there are 39 other cottages on the beautiful property. It will be a different experience in living in community.

I am feeling the need to create a sacred sanctuary where I can continue to go deeper into spirit and into the mysteries of the universe. I am also feeling a desire to participate again in the world in creating the next phase of my work. Listening to my guidance, I am knowing that this is a time for me to have patience and to allow the universe to reveal the Divine plan. In the past, I would rush out and make something happen. This time however, I wait for directions and inspiration from within knowing that God’s plan is far better for me than what I could imagine for myself. This trust and faith in what I cannot see is my way. I am comfortable and at peace with surrendering to the Divine will and to ask, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

As I awake each day, I am filled with gratitude and peace for this journey.  I am knowing that I play a significant part in the transformation and healing of our beloved Planet Earth.  Being true to who I am and expressing my truth allows me to be transparent. Nothing to hide and nothing to fear. Love abounds and I awaken to who I am……..Love is who I am and I choose to be Love everyday.

I would love to receive your comments and feedback.  You can email me at sheila@accessgreatness.com or call me at 954-695-5273.

 

Moving Forward

2013-03-16 04.19.16What an amazing year! When I left Florida in June 2011, I knew I was headed to Northern California and would live with my daughter and her family. After a month, I moved into a beautiful home in Novato and created my sacred santuary. Little did I know that my experience with community living would lead to extraordinary friendships and support. My home is shared with 4 other like-minded souls that are committed to sharing resources and supporting eachother to grow. It has allowed me to heal deep wounds that have created suffering and frustration in my life.
During this amazing year, I have opened my heart to a man. After my second divorce, I sealed my heart tightly shut. Yet this man healed a very deep wound and showed me how to receive love. I also had to face the ways I hide in relationship by not asking for what I want and by not being vulnerable. In this relationship I was able to use awareness to move beyond and communicate my deepest feelings and desires. From the beginning I knew this beautiful experience was not forever and that made each moment together more beautiful and profound.

This year has also been a year of following spirit and following the energy. My trust in the universe has grown and I know that I am a Divine Child of God. I am knowing that all my needs are met and that I am love, peace and harmony. As I move inward, I listen to the whispers of my heart and I move with the guidance I receive. My life is joyous and everyday is an adventure into the unknown.

Three weeks ago, I was told that my teacher and mentor had made her transition. She died in her sleep. It was shocking and I felt a great sadness and loss. The same day, I found out that my lover was moving and would not be living  in Marin County. The next day, I received the news that the beautiful home I am living in has been sold and we need to move out by the end of July.

Well I don’t have to tell you how I felt.  I felt numb for about 3 days. Then a strange feeling of excitement came over me. It was a feeling of freedom on a level I had not experienced before. I have felt a sense of freedom since moving to California but this is more significant. Strange and unraveling a whole way of being and living into the unknown.

Then I heard my inner guidance giving me the next set of instructions. Clearly I heard to give my notice and move out by the 16th of July. On that day, I will be traveling to Austin, Texas with my granddaughter Alexis to spend 2 weeks with my youngest daughter Gabrielle.

When I return, I will leave for a car trip down the California coast to Los Angeles where I will reconnect with my LA community. I will be returning to Marin at the end of August.

I did not expect the third act of my life to look like this……..very few possessions, meeting my soul family, falling in love, discovering my Cafe Gratitude community, the loving relationships with my children and grandchildren and my family and friends, sleeping in a tent, camping, learning about sustainability, developing a deeper love for nature and Mother Earth. juicing and cooking, creating sacred circles and learning the wisdom of the Divine Feminine.

I don’t know what is in my future and what the universe will bring. I do know that this year has prepared me for what will come………….I am forever grateful.

Awakening of Love

To feel so deeply, to care so deeply, to love so deeply without conditions. Free in spirit, to be love. My eyes fill with tears..the feelings are powerful and tender. So sweet the love for all of life. For the moments of beauty for the moments of sorrow, for all of the moments of life. Every moment a sacred gift of experience.

I now 2012-07-29 00.06.55that Life is eternal and that Love is everlasting.  When our hearts are open, love flows. It is through a direct experience that we know love.

My father loved his wife, my mother very much.  When he made his transition I was able to feel his spirit and I knew he was still connected to me, guiding me and even protecting me. He communicated to me through Sally Baldwin, a medium who channels souls that have passed over. My father told me that we have no idea or concept of the Love that is possible. He felt an overpowering  love when he passed over to the nonphysical form and he wanted me to know that we can love so much more than we think is possible in the physical form. What we think of as love in many cases is the tip of the iceberg. I now know what he meant.

I just returned from 3 weeks in Maui where I did a retreat with Terces and Matthew Englehardt, the founders of Cafe Gratitude and during that retreat I had a direct experience of Divine Love. It is the love that opened my heart to greater caring, tenderness and compassion and a feeling of the sacredness for all of life.

My experience on a daily basis has changed. Fear has been replaced by love which feels like a deep sense of safety. Divine love is unconditional.  We are love and we are loved. We don’t have to do anything for The Divine to love us.  We are loved just as we are.

When we know we are love we stop  looking for love outside of us and we stop thinking that we  have to do or be something to get it and  we have to figure out how to keep it. Our hearts are full and Love flows like a river out into the universe.

My  perceptions have changed and I am  beginning to see things in a new light. I realize that I am able to receive love and feel love because I am love and I am loved.

Six months ago  I met a man whose culture is different and there is a significant age difference  yet our spirit and our souls connect. Love has found me and I am so grateful.

I love my life and I am so grateful for Terces and Matthew for their inspired teachings and for their devotion to sharing this work with the world.

As the Beetles sang and Mother Theresa knew and said, What the World needs now is Love, Sweet Love………….

This story is to be continued…………

If you would like to share your love story, please email me at sheila@accessgreatness.com